ow my most of me

so, earlier this summer i started rock climbing. this is not an activity that i would normally list on the "top 50 things to do in my life" roster, but one of my roommates was looking for a new climbing partner and she managed to convince me that there's nothing like the jolt of adrenaline when you fall off the wall 30 feet in the air (safely secured in your harness of course) to take your mind off things.

i comment on this now because i returned to the climbing gym on thursday after a 2 month hiatus. and man, i am aggressively reminded that this hanging on to tiny little protrusions from a tall vertical surface? this stuff takes muscles that i've never used before in my life. and being a dancer, i feel i can claim use of most of the muscles in my body.

allow me to borrow an image off the internet to elaborate.

(thank you http://www.andrewdiec.com/Anatomy/)



mmmmm finger pain.

but seriously, i do enjoy this climbing stuff. it has provided a situation in which i am repeatedly reminded of the fact that i can fail. and i do fail so often, in the sense of missing a hold and falling off the wall into my harness, that failing becomes not so frightening, not so alarming, not so bothersome. it's just inherent to the activity.

similarly, it's helped me get used to taking risks, since i know that my kind friendly climbing partner is sitting at the bottom of the course keeping my belay rope tight, watching to see whether i've had too much and need to be let down. attempting to propel my body weight up and to the right at a 45 degree angle in order to get the tips of my fingers around a shard of plastic becomes less scary. the outcomes are known. i will get it, or i will have to try again.

it's nice to remember this feeling back on the ground, when faced with more abstract decisions.

two windows

wow. it's been a while.

life since i last wrote is pretty much equivalent. still in grad school, though now a year closer to getting that Ph.D. and very much more looking forward to it. still in the same apartment.

here is the view from my dining room table, where i sit and check my email before going into the lab. the email checking has been somewhat prolonged today, mainly because it is so nice and quiet and serene looking out at the rusty golden leaves. the coffee here doesn't hurt either.

miss you all and think of you often.